Can true intimacy be found in online dating?

Online dating is becoming more and more common as technology advances. Now there are a wide range of dating apps such as Grindr, Tinder and Bumble with each serving a specific demographic. People are more comfortable with talking to someone behind a screen than at a table. Part of this reason is that people have a fear of rejection and so it is much easier to be rejected online that in person where you may have put in some effort in terms of travel and expenses. With online dating, it also private compared with having a date at a public restaurant for example. This gives people more confidence in pursuing a partner in such conditions. However, this anonymity can also have a downside. With increased use of dating apps, there is increased experiences of rejection. A study found that about 50% of ‘matches’ on dating apps do not reply. Dating apps allow rejecting others without the person who was rejected getting any explanation as to why. The reasons for rejection may never be known leaving the person with doubts about themselves. There isn’t much information provided about the person you are dating which can be daunting at first. It is essentially a leap of faith making the first move on someone who you don’t really know and all you can see is their picture and some minor details. However, there are people who argue this is not much different than approaching someone at a bar and starting a conversation based on their appearance and possibly how they speak. There is a sense of fitting in and making the profile stand out even though it may not be a true reflection of the individual. A picture and a short summary can show someone in a positive light, but when meeting them it can be a whole different ball game. This huge shift in expectation can play a role in finding true intimacy online. Either meeting the individual in person can be a better or worse than what was expected and can swing both ways. People are less trusting of people they meet online and the person on the other side may not even look like the picture, it is all a matter of trusting the individual on the other side. This is the biggest demotivator for people. Not knowing where the person they just connected with is even the person the saw in the picture at all is a scary thought, therefore many people refrain from online dating. There are however some people who have found long life partners from online dating and have been together ever since. Therefore, despite all its disadvantages it does work for some people. That said, online dating works for some people but not all. The main advantage of online is that it does not require that much commitment until you feel like it. All you must do is a make a profile and let the app do the work while you go about your life. It is an option nowadays that can connect people and help them find true intimacy.

Related Content

To know more about this topic, check out episode#43 on DOTIVthepodcast titled “Can Online Dating Lead to True Intimacy ?” with hosts Guni & Thasha and guest Krishna K. Vellasamy.


  1. Vitzthum, V., 2017. I love you, let’s meet. New York: Little, Brown, pp.22-66.
Can true intimacy be found in online dating?

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